


Revenge is a dish best served cold

by Cyberbandit



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Food Fight, Humor, M/M, Near Death, Noodle Dragons, Overwatch - Freeform, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-09-26 05:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9864974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyberbandit/pseuds/Cyberbandit
Summary: “Are any of you actually going?”He cupped his hands to the door, knowing what to expect.Each and every ‘no’ hit Hanzo like ice to the chest, leaving small marks inside of him.He even heard a small beep come from Bastion. “Et tu, bastion?” He muttered coldly, storming off. He was not prepared to tell Mcree the sad news. Mcree was not going to eat all the chili by himself. Neither was he. The chili was going to a better cause. Hanzo had an idea. He just needed to steal a turret. And maybe. Just maybe he could give the dragons something to do.





	1. A recipe for disaster

"Jesse, I am not saying you are dirty, but the whole house looks like it has been hit by a tornado."

The short dragon man glared at Jesse Mccree, who simply smiled and shook his head. "Darlin, it looks as pretty as a peach. I don't see the mess. Mind pointing it out for me?". The small living quarters had seen better days. The remains of a chimichanga had been splattered against the walls, and the couches were stained with what could only be identified as poorly brewed coffee. Clothes of all sorts (mostly serapes) hung freely against the tall, retro lamp,dimming it slightly. Hanzo was mortified at the least, however, this was just one of the many things he got out of dating Jesse. Surprises, butt touching and messes. Mcree sighed, leaning down to kiss Hanzo before scrubbing the walls vigorously. Hanzo in the meantime vacuumed up the raisins wedged between the couches, slightly tempted to eat them. Yes, Hanzo likes raisins. About a month ago. Mcree pelted him with the dried fruit yelling,” I’M RAISIN HELL!”. What Jesse planned next, Hanzo was not prepared.

“Hanzo. I got an idea. I found this here book. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. “

Suddenly, on cue, a large stone ripped through the window pane, shattering the glass entirely. Hanzo stood there in horror, looking into an imaginary camera with his paled reaction. “WHAT IN TARNATION?” Mcree ran to where the window once was, now replaced by tiny shards of glass.  
On the rock was a yellow sticky note, with a hastily drawn message. “ Hi Hungry. I’m dad.” Mcree cursed silently, shaking his head. He had the urge to throw it back, however, he could not find the courage to chuck a stone projectile at soldier 76. He didn’t feel like dying today. “What was that? Has the enemy attacked? How did they get past-”.

“I was thinking we could make dinner tonight for everyone. You know. The chili con carne looks mighty fine if you ask me. “ Mcree completely dismissed the questions, heading straight to the plot. Pointing a steel finger at a dish that screamed abdominal pains.

Reaper would have cringed at his pronunciation.

“Jesse. You do realize that you are not the best cook, yes?” Hanzo was careful with his words, gently brushing his hand against Mcree’s shoulder.

“I thought everything from me tastes good.” Mcree said under his breath, loud enough for hanzo to hear. Hanzo turned beet red, flushed with surprise. “ JESSE!”. Mcree smiled, laughing at the tiny dragon man who seemed completely at loss for words. “Has the cat got your tongue, Han?”. Hanzo glared, tempted to knock Jesse out with the stupid cookbook. “Wait until I tell Hana how you beg for me. While she’s broadcasting for the whole world to hear how much you love and want-”

“ OKAY! OKAY! JESUS DARLIN’. “

 

Hanzo grinned, tugging Mcree’s tight blue flannel playfully. “If this is what makes you happy, very well. I’ll help you cook. I also need to warn- tell the others you plan on cooking for them tonight. “ Hanzo eyed the cookbook suspiciously, hoping that Mcree wouldn’t give the whole team food poisoning from one of the recipes. That early morning consisted of the two bickering like an old married couple.

“No Jesse, we cannot add Chocolate powder.”

“I don’t think I’m cooking this right darlin. Looks like it came from an outhouse.”

“Nonsense. I think it looks splendid.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

“Why are you crying Jesse? Was it something I said?”

“These onions are too damn strong. It ain’t right. I think the bad guys hacked into them with one of their doohickeys.”

“If Junkrat can handle explosives, I wonder if he can handle explosive diarrhea.” Hanzo said as they stirred a large pot of the toxic mixture. Mcree chuckled, although slightly offended. His cooking wasn’t Thaaat bad. Was it? The whole compound reeked of onions, beans and a scent so pungent that it could make voldemort cry.

“I think we’re done here. “ Hanzo and Mcree hovered hopefully over a pot of Chili, praying that it tasted better than it looked. But of course, neither of them were willing to actually try it. They needed a test subject. Or perhaps a scientist that could give a professional opinion. Someone who was used to experimenting. Hanzo thought for a minute. He then remembered the overly dressed woman he met when he first joined overwatch who was eager about science. Science was all about discovery.

________________________________________________________

 

“Mei? Mcree and I made chili for the team. Would you like to try it? Perhaps give me your opinion before me serve it?” Hanzo stared blankly into the warm brown eyes of Mei, who smiled as an answer.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt!” She tipped her glasses slightly, and accepted the dixie cup with chili in it. She dipped the small blue spoon inside, and held it up to her mouth. “ Bone app the teeth!” . Those were her final words before she sank to her knees, retching and screaming incoherent chinese. Writhing like a frail petunia, tears rolling down her cheeks like tiny stars. In a flurry of horrible pain, she stared into the eyes of hanzo with a look of betrayal. Hanzo remained stationary, with a growing look of guilt towering above Mei. He had taken out this poor woman, and her last words were all she would be remembered by. “First Genji and now you.” He whimpered. “Why must I kill every other asian person I meet?”. The phrase “Bone app the teeth” burned into his skull like greek fire, bringing a new era of remorse. Hanzo was a guilty man. This would forever haunt him as the most violent death he had ever witnessed, let alone caused. He killed his own brother. Somehow seeing this was far worse.

Mei lay there (assume fetal position) cup strewn across the floor as a result of agony. “I’ll be okay.” She said softly, as if it were her final breath. “I just need to take a few breaths.” She wheezed the words, sending cold chills down Hanzo’s spine. Hanzo leaned down, wished her well and asked her with not the slightest of emotion, “But did you like it?”

No answer. Just a weak cough.

_____________________________________________________________

“Mei said she loved it. I believe I should let the team know that we cooked for them. “ Hanzo lied, kissing Mcree’s shoulder as he added shocking amounts of salt to the finished product for precautionary measures.

With that, Hanzo entered the lounge area where everyone was packed on a small leather sofa. Hana seemed to be telling a story about reaper giving cough drops out on halloween, quickly stopping when Hanzo passed by.

“Hello everyone. Jesse’s making dinner tonight. I hope you are all willing to attend. If so, it’ll be in the Mess hall at 6.” Hanzo struggled with his words, still trying to adjust to having friends.  
Hana smiled an expensive grin, and nodded her head. Everyone turned instantly to listen to the talk about ‘jesse’ and ‘cooking’. The two made a terrible combination. This was a universal fact. This was confirmed when he decided to contribute to the annual grill and brought a spongecake. A literal sponge covered in pink strawberry frosting. “I thought you were s’pose to lick the frosting off and chew the sponge.”

“Aw man is it the spong-” hana shot an icy glare at lucio before he could finish his sentence.

 

“Of course! Why wouldn’t we?”

Hanzo frowned, hoping this wasn’t sarcasm. Hana caught on quickly, and did her best to assure him it wasn’t. Hanzo could have sworn he saw Reinhardt sweating nervously. Lena looked less cheery than usual. A bit paler than she had ever been. He grimaced softly, having faith this would not result in Jesse’s feelings being hurt.

“Great. I will see you all then.” Hanzo left quietly, closing the door. He pretended as if he walked away, pressing his ear against the door.

“Of course I’m not actually going. I’ll come up with an excuse. I love Mcree and all, but it’s for my own good.” Hana hissed.

Hanzo felt his heart stop.

Hanzo listened closer, enduring the truth. What would he tell Jesse? Jesse loved to cook. This would damage his ego. He was not ready for nights of sad renditions of cotton eyed joe being belted out until sunrise, and intense burrito stress eating.

“Only I can make fun of his cooking.” the archer thought bitterly. He felt his throat getting tight with anger, and watched the dragons on his arm glow. He could easily knock them all off of the stupid craigslist couch, and perhaps force them to eat sponges if the dragons did not kill them. He bit his lip, holding back his dark thoughts. His dragons pulsed and hummed, discontent with his decision not to summon them.

“Are any of you actually going?”

He cupped his hands to the door, knowing what to expect.

Each and every ‘no’ hit Hanzo like ice to the chest, leaving small marks inside of him.  
He even heard a small beep come from Bastion. “Et tu, bastion?” He muttered coldly, storming off. He was not prepared to tell Mcree the sad news. Mcree was not going to eat all the chili by himself. Neither was he. The chili was going to a better cause. Hanzo had an idea. He just needed to steal a turret. And maybe. Just maybe he could give the dragons something to do.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
To be continued

\---------------------------------------------------------


	2. Help from a junker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know a way to get into his room. The vents. But they ain’t that big. Are you closet phobic? “
> 
> Hanzo peered at Jesse, entirely perplexed. “Am I what?”. 
> 
> Jesse rolled his eyes. “Ya know? Closet phobic! Afraid of small enclosed spaces n’ stuff?”. 
> 
> “Baka! No, I am not Claustrophobic.” Hanzo said disapprovingly.

Hanzo Shimada had many questions for himself. How was he going to steal a turret? Would lodging chili beans into the blaster break it? How was he going to calmly explain this one to Jesse? So many thoughts, so little time. He ran his pale fingers through his hair, thinking of ways to bring justice to life. First and foremost, he needed the turret. He entered the compound, peering at Jesse with a mixture of emotions. He tried his best to put on a poker face, but Mcree knew better.

“Something’ troublin you clementine?” Hanzo could hear the concern floating in the shallows of his deep voice. Hanzo paused, lost in a train of thought. Mcree abandoned his previous commitment, walking towards hanzo like a tiger stalking its prey. “No.” Hanzo said quietly, avoiding eye contact with Jesse. The cowboy wrapped his arms around him, embracing him with a fiery passion. “I know you ain’t happy right now. Tell me what’s the matter sweetpea and I’ll fix ya right up.” Mcree’s voice was soothing, although rough on the edges. A beautiful, dark southern accent that never seemed to grow old. Hanzo felt his mind racing. What was he going to say? Hanzo let go, resulting in a frown from Mcree.

“If I planned on doing something only a pure criminal would do, would you still love me?” Hanzo buried his face back into Jesse’s chest, feeling bitter shame. Back to his old ways. A senseless, murdering shimada. Jesse lifted Hanzo’s face up, eyes burning into the windows of his soul. Hanzo felt his throat burn with what could only be described as guilt.

“Of course. But Damn Hanzo. What is it that you’re gonna do?” Jesse looked puzzled, although open to whatever answer awaited him. Hanzo felt instant relief, similar to that feeling you’re supposed to get when you take the constipation meds you see on TV. Jesse intertwined his fingers with Hanzo, gripping tightly although softly.

“I’m going to steal a turret and launch your beans at every member of overwatch if that is okay with you, jesse. “ The words rushed like a waterfall, pouring down on Mcree’s umbrella. There was a small flicker of determination synched into the face of Hanzo, who squeezed the gunslinger’s hand with hope.

“What in tarnation?” Jesse was completely bewildered. Attempting to piece together everything, and wondering whether or not his life was secretly a sitcom. He sighed, rubbing his head. “They didn’t want to go did they?”. Hanzo nodded, completely silent. Mcree smiled vaguely, and took off his hat. He revealed his thick, rich chocolate hair and skirted himself towards the chili beans. “Wonder why they wouldn’t want some of this. It looks mighty fine if you ask-”. “SOMEBODY POISONED THE CHILI BOWL. “

Mcree dry heaved towards the trashcan, looking at Hanzo for help. The man clutched his stomach in absolute terror, making noises that no man could ever make. Goose like calls, and tears streaming down his face like the flood gates of hell. Jesse clutched onto Hanzo, who attempted to fan Mcree out with a paper towel. As if that was going to help. As if Mcree were actually on fire.

“WATER.” Mcree croaked, gripping tightly onto hanzo like a vicious zombie. Hanzo screamed, running towards the sink, filling up a mug that said. “Life is Amazing” to the brim of extinction, watering down Mcree’s mouth. Mcree coughed his way back to health, staggering melodramatically across the room.

“Was it spicy?” hanzo asked, rubbing the cowboy’s back. Mcree shook his head, took a deep breath, and began to cry.

“Naw. It was the damn worst thing I have ever tasted in my entire life. Hanzo I told you not to add all that salt. This is enough to wipe out an entire army. This ain’t right darlin.” Mcree had finally admitted to his terrible cooking. Well, sorta.

“I’m assuming you are willing to steal a turret then?” Hanzo asked, wiping away Jesse’s tears. Comforting him with tiny hugs and small kisses on his arm as he tried to convince him. Mcree huffed and gave in, scooping Hanzo up as if he were a feather. Having a life with Jesse was a far cry from the shimada clan. Hanzo felt at ease no matter how ridiculous his daily routine had become. Apart of Hanzo was still cold and composed, but only with mcree was he warm and free. Only with mcree did he smile, and only with mcree did he show the love he wasn’t allowed to show in the shimada clan.

“Well. It’s better than eating these darn beans that’s for sure. “ Mcree offered. He looked at the hell beans with both fear and hatred, and sat down on the plush red chair. “It won’t be easy, but we’re gonna take the turret while he’s out cold. He’s a light sleeper, that Torbjorn, so be extra careful.”

“I know a way to get into his room. The vents. But they ain’t that big. Are you closet phobic? “

Hanzo peered at Jesse, entirely perplexed.

“Am I what?”. Jesse rolled his eyes

. “Ya know? Closet phobic! Afraid of small enclosed spaces n’ stuff?”.

“Baka. No, I am not Claustrophobic.” Hanzo said disapprovingly. ___________________________________________________________  

“Here she is. Ladies first. “ The two stood in front of a 4 foot entrance that supposedly led to other rooms. Jesse insisted he knew what turns to take, assuring Hanzo safety. Hanzo looked at the small vent with worry expanding on his face. Hanzo crawled in, poised despite being on his knees. “Atta darlin”. Mcree followed soon after, chuckling softly.

“Why ain’t this the prettiest view? “. Hanzo growled in response, kicking his legs back at Mcree’s face. Mcree cursed softly. The two shuffled endlessly, wishing that they could come to a crossroads.

“Jesse we are going nowhere.” Hanzo huffed. Maybe he was actually Claustrophobic. The small dragons leaped off of Hanzo’s arm, creating a tiny blue glow. “Thank you.” Hanzo muttered. After two more lefts, they eventually were presented with three other tunnels. The dragons disappeared in a billow of tiny smoke.

“It’s the last one. “ Jesse said quietly. Hanzo nodded, even though he knew it was too dark for mcree to see him do so. Hanzo entered, almost screeching as he slid down. Mcree went down a lot smoother, ramming into Hanzo. “You gotta work on your posture partner.” Hanzo felt like turning around and slapping Mcree. Hanzo could see a bead of light underneath his palms. Through the bars beneath him, he could make out a room. A very messy, filthy room.

He shuddered.

“Hanzo you could've at least held it in. I can’t breathe. “ jesse hissed from behind. Hanzo turned beet red. “That wasn’t me.” The accusation itself was embarrassing. Before he could say anything, the scent hit his nose like a semi- truck carrying granny perfume. He slid his hand to cover his nose, but felt his fingers brush against something furry. The dragons glowed in anticipation.Beneath his palm was a massive and very dead rat. Hanzo shrieked in a high pitched tone, abandoning all composure. Jesse panicked, covering Hanzo’s mouth. It was too late.

“Oi. What was that?”.

Mcree looked very clammy. “I thought this was the right vent. I swear.”

“Where are ya comin from? Come at me ya dill!”

They heard a very loud bang, nearly becoming deaf. Mcree had led both he and hanzo to an inevitable death by accidentally entering the vent to Junk Rat's room. They were protected by very thin metal bars, and safe only if Jamison Fawkes had a terrible aim. This was either a flight or fight situation. They chose to fight.

“I’m callin for reinforcements! ROADIE!” Junkrat ran out the room, searching for his best friend. This gave Mcree and Hanzo time to think. “Give me your ribbon. Hanzo pulled it off, not wanting to argue. They switched positions, hastily although silently. Hanzo felt his insides churn when he heard the rip of seams. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

Hanzo remained quiet as he watched mcree tie the dead rat to the string. It was beyond sickening. Mcree slipped the rat through the bars, dangling it like a cat toy.  Chuckling darkly, spinning it like a yoyo. Moments later, Junkrat returned with roadhog, who looked scarier than ever.

“I’m telling ya mate. It’s coming from the ceiling. “ Roadhog grunted in response. Three. Two. One. Mcree slipped the rat through the bars once more, this time to put on a little show. A very morbid show. Hanzo held back a gag, watching as his cowboy boyfriend began rambling. He changed his beautiful southern voice into a tacky falsetto, attempting to impersonate Mickey Mouse.

“JAMISON! WHY HAVEN’T YOU CALLED ME?” He wailed. He dangled the dead rat and bounced it, earning two gasps.

“Jesse just because he calls himself Junkrat doesn’t mean he knows any actual rats!”. Hanzo whispered sternly. Hanzo questioned his life when he heard a desperate wail down below.

“I’m Sorry Ma! I’ve been meaning to call ya! But I’ve just been busy!” Junkrat exploded into tears, asking roadhog to leave for some privacy. One down. One more to go. Jesse swung the rat around angrily, making rodent noises. Mcree found this whole situation funny, and began to egg him on.

“Why aren’t you married yet? Do you need to move in back with me? “.

Jamison yelped, stuttering. “No ma! Don’t make me go back to flipping patties! I have a girlfriend! She’s very uh.. Pretty! She has nice legs too!” He whimpered. Mcree raised an eyebrow. Hanzo was slowly losing it.

“Her name is.. Mei! “ He said quickly. Mcree was suppressing laughter.

“I’ll forgive you if you do something for me!” Jesse’s throat began to sting from the use of the mickey mouse voice. He let out a silent prayer that this would somehow work.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 hours later, after Hanzo and Mcree somehow managed to escape, they heard a knock on their door. When they opened it, a large package awaited them. A small note written in red crayon lay on top.

**Mcree and Hand Soap,**

 

**My mum told me to give this to you. Don’t tell anyone or else!**

 

**\- Biggiecheese67**

 

Hanzo smiled. “Perfect.” He dragged the turret inside, placing it on the hideous green carpet he got from genji. The turret was shinier up close. Mcree swept his flesh hand through it, feeling mighty fine. Mcree grinned a devilish grin.

“Now what?” Hanzo looked him directly in the eye, sending shivers down Jesse’s spine. There was a twinkle in the pool of darkness that filled Mcree with determination.

“Now we strike. “ Hanzo said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOrry I took long my cat was in labor. Thanks for reading. Comments are always appreciated. :D


	3. Uh oh spaghettios!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No. Please. I can’t watch seinfeld in prison!” Hanzo dropped to his knees, wailing miserably.   
> No one could hear them. No one could see. The turret hummed quietly, a sob overpowering it every other second.

The two sat down in a moment of silence, before Mccree quickly intervened. 

“Ya know. That rat smell gave me an idea.” He said anxiously, spurs rattling as he got up.   
“What good could possibly come out of the rat besides this turret?” hanzo remained seated, watching the gunslingers every movement as if he were ready to attack. His dark eyes narrowed as he awaited for a response. 

Mccree beamed devilishly. “I was thinking we could get the smell of chili to float all across the whole darn place. Kinda like a silent battle cry. Sorta like peeing in a vent.” Hanzo smirked with both disgust and admiration for the cowboy. “Unless you want to actually uh. Pee in a vent.” Mccree said worriedly. Hanzo thought for a moment of the atrocious consequences of peeing in a vent, and immediately decided on the chili- nostril burn idea. 

“Do you know where the main ventilation system is?” Hanzo asked, intertwining his fingers into Mccree’s cyborg hand. Mccree nodded, stroking Hanzo’s hair as he spoke. “I promise I know where it is this time. “ Hanzo breathed a deep breath, hoping that this was true. Mccree fidgeted, and pulled Hanzo up from the floor. “Get up. We got some work to do. “ 

 

The pair held a small container of chili, just enough to ruin the lives of many from the foul smell. Hanzo snickered, almost dropping the container on his way down the hall. The others were all scattered around the watchpoint, but pretty soon they’d all be gathered up in one area, inspecting the source of the stench. The main ventilation system was right outside of winston’s office. 

“What do you two think you’re doing?” 

Jesse gulped. Hanzo turned around in fear, gripping on tightly to the toxic waste. Soldier-76 looked at the men in suspicion, surveying them carefully. Eyeing the strange concealed jar. Locking it in his sights, and staring back at Hanzo through his visor. “Shimada! What is that?!”. Mccree was no use. He was helplessly stammering, feeling guilty for not knowing what to say. Hanzo had a vacant expression on his face as he attempted to find an answer. 

Think. Think. All he could think about was Mccree’s butt. Something else! The vents! Peeing in vents. He felt a gag coming on. Mccree. Pee. Mccree. Pee. 

“It’s Mccree’s urine sample. He ate something bad. “ Hanzo nearly yelled, visibly shaking. The color drained from Mccree’s face, and he gasped slightly. He nearly cried when he saw the look of disappointment ripple across Jack’s face, feeling hurt and confusion. Jack coughed awkwardly, debating whether to question it or leave. He chose the latter, mumbling words of discontentment and muttering something about golf. Hanzo felt a wave of relief, celebrating his victory with a smile. Nudging Mccree, but then remembering what just happened. 

“You owe me big time for that one. “ Mccree said sourly. 

“Sorry Jesse. I’ll make it up to you.” Hanzo attempted to wink, but failed miserably. It appeared almost as if he had something in his eye. Mccree laughed softly, patting him on the back. Reassuring him that there were other ways that Hanzo could successfully seduce him. 

The archer and the cowboy carried on, rushing towards the general direction of the office. It smelled vibrant. Peach, mango and a warm ocean breeze. Cold, glowing cyan waves crashing to a remote shore. Capturing the souls of those who dare take a walk, and those who dare think of colonizing the pristine paradise. A scent that resembled peace, nature and the very essence of life itself, nearly immortalizing the concept of joy on earth. A scent that reminded Hanzo of the times when he was too young to know what true power was, and the horrifying results of one who harnessed it for evil. He thought of he and genji, little boys who were the epitome of innocence. To think he was about to destroy the very aroma that drove him home to a state of tranquility. It was demoralizing. Would he do it? Obviously. He wasn’t lame. Besides, he was allergic to mangos in a way so severe, it could almost contest Genji’s deadly allergy to the payload. 

Mccree on the other hand interpreted the smell as Dead granny, so he quickly ran past it. 

“Well here we are. Winston is out cold. Don’t ask how I did it. The scent should come out the strongest in the gym. Once they’re all gathered, we’ll take em’ out.” Mccree said darkly, rubbing his hands together. 

“After we unleash the scent, we have about 30 minutes to set up the turret somewhere hidden in the gym. It won’t start smelling until said time, so we gotta be quick about it. No witnesses otherwise we’re gonna have to send them upstate.” 

Hanzo shuddered. “We’re killing them? Do you have any idea what that means? We’ll have to change our names! Shave our beards! Work in farms!”. Hanzo had a dead-serious look plastered on his face. 

“Naw I was kidding. We’re gonna have to get rid of them somehow. That’s why I got these just in case. “ Mcree revealed Ana’s sleep antidote in his pocket. Hanzo raised his brow. “How did you get access to those?” Mcree smiled simply, shaking his head. “That’s a story for a later time. I’ve always had these. “ 

 

“I think it is time we blow our load.” Hanzo said firmly, looking hopefully at the chili beans. 

Mccree looked taken aback hearing this suggestion, fighting the urge to laugh in the face of the stern asian man. “That’s not what you think it means, darlin. “ 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The scent instantly reaped through the metal of the vents, traveling swiftly like wildfire. Was it death he smelled? Had somebody shit in the system? These were the first thoughts that streamed into the head of the unlucky soul who happened to be dozing off lazily next to the air conditioning, who now were was awake and alert. 

“Aw what the hell is that smell?” Lucio cried. The hairs in his nose were ablaze, desperate for febreze. Lucio tucked his head inside his neon green shirt that read,” Skate fast eat ass”. But it was far too late. The mist was coming. He screamed ferally, skating desperately to shelter. “HELP! HELP! “ He screeched like a wild goose, rollerskates pounding on the linoleum. Dashing through the halls, making deranged noises that even Desiigner couldn’t dream of. 

“What is going-?” Ana watched from her dorm room as Lucio kicked the glass window, shattering it into purposeless stars. The cold breeze had almost won. It had almost erased the foul chili bean stench. But the air outside was a rabbit against a snarling wolf. 

“You could have opened it you know.” Ana said between rough coughs. Lucio peered into the windows of her soul, tears forming slowly. “Good luck. You’re gonna need it.” he said grimly. Ana stammered. “What? No! Stop!”. Lucio lunged, throwing a peace sign as he crashed 5 stories down from the watchpoint, hitting a trashcan with a terrible bang. “Ow.” He moaned painfully.   
It was time to act. Ana made a run for it, never looking back. She pulled the bright red alarm, ears ringing from the wailing. “Evacuate to the assigned destination.” Athena said for all to hear. 

The sound of footsteps pounding the halls echoed throughout the building. It was all out chaos from here. Tracer hastily packed all of her belongings into a walmart plastic bag, while Genji two rooms ahead grabbed his Signed copy of Grownups 2 from the glass case. Tears, blood and sweat dripped from every pore as Junkrat escaped with the many boxes of hamburger helper he accumulated over the years. 

 

Everyone scurried toward the gym, where the turret rested hidden high above. Like a hawk in a nest of bones yearning for prey to come. The smell only got worse from here. Hanzo and Mccree were blessed to have come prepared, pulling out fallout- style gas masks. They looked at each other in a comical manner, nodding their heads in anticipation. Thank god that whoever built this building had created nearly invisible ledges. Otherwise someone could easily-

“What the hell are you doing up here?” A ghastly figure emerged from the brink of nowhere, unleashing an unpleasant energy. The voice was that of a drug addict, rocky and harsh. Mccree paled, face to face with a complete nightmare. 

“I was just looking for the bathroom. I think i’m gonna leave.” He said swiftly, diverting his eyes toward a window. A sense of unrighteous fear dwelled in his knees, causing them to shake slightly. 

“No. Not so fast vaquero. You and your asian friend are coming with me. By the way, thank you for making it a whole lot easier to group up every damn person apart of this organization so that they can meet an inevitable fate. I’ll make sure to credit you guys when the time comes.” His laugh sounded like a rock being grinded against a cheese grater. 

“No. Please. I can’t watch seinfeld in prison!” Hanzo dropped to his knees, wailing miserably.   
No one could hear them. No one could see. The turret hummed quietly, a sob overpowering it every other second. 

“Grow up, Calcetín sucio. Seinfeld sucks!” He growled. Mccree was ready to pounce. He felt himself paw at his gun, but was too slow to deflect the punch thrown at him. He fainted pathetically on the floor, dropping down next to hanzo’s feet. Hanzo drew his bow, only to realize the dark figure had vanished. 

 

“LIGHTS OUT!” Another voice called out. 

The whole gym was dark. The voices below simmered down in worry as their confusion deepened. “What is going on?” Someone asked. The doors to the gym slammed shut, locking everyone inside. Only some had brought their weapons. Genji stared at his grown ups 2 DVD in shame. Hanzo in the meanwhile was busy trying to revive Jesse from his state of forced slumber. Nothing else mattered at the moment. 

Dozens of figures appeared from various areas of the room, all possessing the same evil spirit as the one who had knocked Jesse out. Talon. Talon had overheard the plans. They saw an opportunity and took it. And this was all their fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not posting this. it was on hiatus due to me being busy! I hope ya'll enjoy it. Also, if anyone wants to play On console with me (I'm XBOX!) My user is cyberbandit8! Have a spectacular day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I have terrible punctuation. I apologize. Comments are always appreciated. This is my first work here, so I hope i did well.


End file.
